While they were gone, I was able to relax a bit and spend some extra time with my husband. I was also able to have uninterrupted thoughts, a luxury I forgot existed. While I was thinking, I realized some things. One is that I don't often pray for my kids beyond the customary, "Bless and protect them. Give them a good day," type prayers.
In neglecting that little nugget of necessity, I have let my standards slip and the vision fade. I was accepting mediocrity in my parenting and in their character. After all, they're just normal kids.
- Surely that tween show isn't too bad.
- Hanging out at the mall won't hurt them; all the kids do.
- I know we said no overnights, but we do trust that family.
- It's normal for teens to roll their eyes and slam doors.
- He should be disciplined for calling me names, but he's acting sweet now.
With perspective came the realization about not praying, which led to much praying, which led to more perspective, which led to gratitude.
I am so grateful that, when I venture off course, one prayer for help and I can almost hear God say, "Recalculating," before he helps me back on track. Sometimes, it takes awhile to find my way back, with added u-turns and curves, and sometimes, it's almost like He picks me up and sets me right where I left off.
I'm not sure what kind of redirection I'm currently experiencing. They've only been home a few hours and I've already veered off course a few times. I'm just trying to keep my eyes on Jesus and trust Him with the journey while committing to pray, daily, for the precious gifts He has given me.