That is the crux of my problem, I realized this morning.
It's been winter here, in central Indiana, for far too long. The weeks were cold, the snow was colder, and the days were far too short. I was miserable, and everybody knew it. "I hate winter. Why do we still live in Indiana? Will it ever be spring, again?" was a frequent mantra.
As is typical in Indiana, we had some warm, teaser days, and then temperatures plummeted once again. Yesterday, however was warm. The trees are flowering, the grass is green and will need mowed soon. We opened the windows wide to let in the fresh air.
We walked, played, and laughed in the sun, so excited that spring had arrived, at last.
Then, this morning, right before dawn, I heard them. The birds. They were making a racket with their mating calls and chatter.
"Stupid birds!" I muttered as I rolled over with the pillow over my head to block the noise.
Wow. My negativity is killing me. Maybe literally, given all my recent health issues, but certainly, it is killing my spirit. Give me any silver lining and I am sure to show you the cloud. Even while noticing the beauty of our flowering trees yesterday, I was quick to point out the stench they put off. Complain, complain, complain.
I can't even stand to be around me, I'm so critical and negative. I'm glad the Holy Spirit pointed this out to me. This is not who I want to be. Mine is not a life that glorifies God if I take everything He's given me and add a negative spin.
Scripture tells me to give thanks in every situation, to be content in whatever state I'm in, and to do all things without complaining. Somewhere, I lost these virtues along the way and allowed the sin of ingratitude to poison my soul. Now it's time to wash myself with the Word and renew my mind...and enjoy the birds.